I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
