you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
