i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
3pm strippers are depressing
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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