So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
