There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
