sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
