I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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