I feel great
I just peed on a car
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
