i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
