just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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