Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
