i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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