I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
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Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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