your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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