if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
