i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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