I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
