ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
COCAINE IS GR8
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
