OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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