the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
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SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
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I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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