I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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