I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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