How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
