No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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