Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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