when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
