he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
