I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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