420 ftw
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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