I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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