Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
