I hope mine doesn't look like that
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
