jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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