somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
