tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
