I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
