we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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