I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
