I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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