i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
