I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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