It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
