I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
