FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
