How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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