Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
