Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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