Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
