I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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