this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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