i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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