Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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