I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
