I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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