life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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