Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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