Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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