...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
