dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
