I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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