I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
