Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
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I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
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Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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