i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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