I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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