As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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