I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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